It’s no secret that parenting in the modern world is hard. Both mothers and fathers are being pulled in more directions than ever before as they juggle careers, childcare, household tasks, and the other pressures of everyday life.
But have society’s expectations caught up with our shifting lifestyles and family dynamics? To answer this question, we surveyed British adults to find out how attitudes towards motherhood and fatherhood compare.
Key findings
- Brits expect mums to spend an extra 13 hours a week on parenting tasks than dads – that’s the equivalent of one and a half working days
- This gap in expectations is even larger amongst people who are parents themselves, suggesting many are experiencing this imbalance first-hand
- Mums are expected to spend more time on almost every parenting task, from childcare, to cooking, cleaning, and washing
- Society also assumes mums can shoulder more responsibility alone. For instance, over 72% expect mothers to change every single nappy, but it’s considered unusual if fathers do this
- The language we use to describe parenting also reflects these attitudes. 30% of Brits still use the phrase “hands on father”, whilst a quarter of us have used “daddy daycare” to describe a dad who is spending time alone with his children. The use of the term “mummy daycare” is far less common
How do society’s expectations of mothers and father vary by task?
Our research covered a huge spectrum of parenting roles, from practical tasks to enrichment activities.
Here’s a closer look at how much time society expects mothers and fathers to dedicate to some of the most common responsibilities:
| Task[BS1] | Time commitment expected per week | |
| Mothers | Fathers | |
| Talking and listening | 3 hours | 2 hours |
| Cleaning the house | 2 hours and 12 minutes | 2 hours |
| Helping with homework | 2 hours | 1 hour |
| Reading | 1 hour and 30 minutes | 1 hour |
| Food shopping | 2 hours | 1 hour and 10 minutes |
| Planning and preparing meals | 2 hours | 1 hour |
| School run | 1 hour and 15 minutes | 1 hour |
| Washing clothes | 2 hours | 1 hour |
| Waking in the morning | 45 minutes | 30 minutes |
| Childcare during working hours | 2 hours | 30 minutes |
| Changing nappies | 1 hour | 30 minutes |
| Packaging children’s bags | 45 minutes | 20 minutes |
| Brushing teeth | 30 minutes | 20 minutes |
| Arranging childcare | 50 minutes | 20 minutes |
| Brushing and styling hair | 45 minutes | 15 minutes |
| Mending clothes and toys | 30 minutes | 10 minutes |
What about society’s attitudes to careers?
The research found that mothers are almost always expected to juggle paid work as well as take on a larger share of the parenting load.
90% of people say the mums they know still have a career, and almost a quarter (23%) of these women work full-time. And there are no concessions made when it comes to expectations around their career. Almost the same proportion of Brits expect a mother of small children to hold a senior position as fathers (56% vs 59%).
Methodology
We gathered these insights by surveying 2,000 British adults.
To remove the risk of unconscious bias or self-censoring, we split respondents into two separate, proportionately representative sample groups. The first group was asked a series of questions about their expectations of mothers. The second was asked the same questions about their expectations of fathers.
The results of the two studies were compared to uncover the disparities in society’s expectations of women vs men when it comes to modern parenting.
Advice if you’re feeling the weight of the parenting load
At My Nametags, we’re on a mission to make parents’ lives easier. From opting for stick-on name labels to batch cooking, there are plenty of tricks that can help reduce the time spent on chores so there’s more opportunity to have fun together as a family. Check out our top parenting hacks , designed to give you a little time back.
